Walking

He meant to say:

“I never met a lyrical goddess

That uses hyphens and haikus

To prove that really

God is.

I thought Nefertiti was dead

And never wanted to believe

In queens

Except queen bees like Little Kim.

Who etched the Milky Way

On the small of your back

So Saturn’s rings shake

Every time your hips sway?

I watched your walk

Uprooting the cement

And thought if only for a sec

The Sun would fingerpaint my face

And you’d stop walking towards Mecca.

Lady.

Emit soul in my direction,

I would lap Nazareth just to follow and learn.”

But he said:

“Ayo ma!

Don’t you know your curves

Tingle my nerves?

Let me rephrase,

You walking from school

That means you must mean you got good brain

And I would love to arrange

Some tutorin’.

And with his eyes I let him amputate me.

Sever my shins

So when he wished

I’d already be

On my knees

Promising quarter plastic rings,

He proposed I squeeze a queendom

In one size smaller apple bottom jeans

And then I could really be wifey.”

Told me,

God was missing me since I fell from the sky.

And though his metaphor was clever,

I could never smile

Cuz every night since I was nine,

My daddy told me

I really was an angel.

Every night he’d sing me flat lullabies.

He’d make me promise to always walk like a woman did.

With the sons of a nation complacent in the crook of your neck

And the prayers of pigtailed

Potential up the side of your ribcage

Like vines.

Balance you children’s infinities

On your hips

And carry your divinity on your chin

And try not to trip

Walk hard, little angel.

He meant

Even when massas have tied your tongue

To your soft palate

And given you a bounty of Ebonics

Manage to sing

When they’ve only written blues

In your key

Write your own melody.

That’s how a woman walks.

So I sang the sharp harmonies

To my daddy’s bedtime stories,

Back when I used to hide

Candy wrappers in pockets of jeans.

Now we hide condom wrappers

And Daddy

I’m scared I’ve forgotten your lyric,

Cause every song I start

It ends with “Shawty!”

And every time I walk

Someone calls “Shawty!”

We used to sip cherry pop

Now we count cherries popped.

Used to knock at pinatas,

Now by quinceanera

We rock hips,

Blast the treble

On the track,

Show the small of our backs.

There are no galaxies there!

Our skin doesn’t shine

Like a Sun

But burns,

As if every shooting star

We ever wished upon

Lands on our laps.

We used to claim ourselves

As daughters of Eve

But I figure we must be

A lost generation of apple trees

Serpents

Since everytime I walk

Someone wants to “Psssst” at me!

“Yo Mami!”

“Yo Baby!”

Your mommies

Your babies.

If you lifted your eyes from her breasts,

Maybe you’d see your sister in her face

And hear her heart

Trying to break free from her chest.

I’m still walking.

Cause I promised my Daddy

I’d never rest.

He told me,

Woman walk hard

And I’ve been walking ever since.

My feet aren’t clean.

I’ve got corns for every corner

I’ve ever been called pretty,

And my soles

Are calloused for every

Step after that

Before he said he was only kidding

But does believe

He has a bright future in my jeans.

When I say

My soul is calloused,

I’m asking my daddy

To reteach me those lyrics,

And to the ten year olds

On these streets

That still hopscotch

But suck more than butterscotch,

I implore you.

Teach them.

Back to these little boys

Who play with rubber toys,

That teach them how to be soldiers

But never how to be fathers.

Bullet-proof vests

And hands gestured

In silent G’s

We teach them how to be gangstas

So when they gon’ find

Time to dream?

Teach them how to ice swollen wounds

Where infants of ignorance

Tug at dry placentas

Of women who cannot give any longer.

I want to piece back

The words to that song

Her Body Is Sacred There

And, His Mind Is Stronger.

But I can’t teach you how to say it.

I’m too busy

Walking.

-Zora Howard

Reflection

When I was 14 I was friends with a girl named Busani. She was beautiful. Confident. She had attitude- I don’t know how to describe it or her.

The friendship ended because she was negative. Her attitude wasn’t right and I started to get over her. She was rude, aggressive, mean and stubborn. I had great laughs with her but she wasn’t my kind of girl. The friendship ended because she went and told a boy I had a crush on that I liked him and he said she should tell me he likes her. She didn’t, some spine less girl who was her friend did. I stopped speaking to Busani.

She is pregnant with her second child now and she’s turning 21. I don’t feel sorry for her and I’m not judging her, it’s okay because we all have different goals in life and honestly my opinion is so irrelevant. I just don’t care. Bless her and her children. Honestly.

The moral of this story is that I saw her at church on Palm Sunday and in the bank a few weeks ago and I was grateful the friendship ended because if I was still friends with her I think I would be a different person. I would be a hot mess.

God bless this girl and her children. I can’t imagine the stress of being a young, single, unqualified mother of two. Give her good days she looks stressed :)

She wears 30 so well.

Since you’ve been gone…

I still sleep holding that part of me where you used to lay.


Memories of you.

Rihanna- Where Have You Been (Official Video). This is my favourite sing off of her album. #loveit

The Kitchen

Half a papaya and a palmful of sesame oil;
     lately, your husband’s mind has been elsewhere.

Honeyed dates, goat’s milk;
     you want to quiet the bloating of salt.

Coconut and ghee butter;
     he kisses the back of your neck at the stove.

Cayenne and roasted pine nuts;
     you offer him the hollow of your throat.

Saffron and rosemary;
     you don’t ask him her name.

Vine leaves and olives;
     you let him lift you by the waist.

Cinnamon and tamarind;
     lay you down on the kitchen counter.

Almonds soaked in rose water;
     your husband is hungry.

Sweet mangoes and sugared lemon;
     he had forgotten the way you taste.

Sour dough and cumin;
     but she cannot make him eat, like you. 

-Warsan Shire

day seven.

make love

like you have no

secrets

like you’ve

never been 

left 

never been 

hurt

like the world

don’t owe you a 

single

wretched

thing.

(Source: warsanshire)